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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22947499">Really Hate How Much I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskyisblue/pseuds/theskyisblue'>theskyisblue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A spin on the plot, Fluff, I Miss Tarlos Onscreen, I dunno why they won't let me tag Mateo, Kind of slow-build, Light Angst, M/M, a 'what if' scenario</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22947499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskyisblue/pseuds/theskyisblue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Tarlos hadn't gotten along quite as well as they had when they first met?</p><p> </p><p>If there was one thing in life, one <em>person</em> to be specific, that Tyler Kennedy Strand, son of the well-known Austin firefighter captain of the 126 could not stand being around for more than five seconds, it was probably the guy standing in the middle of their common area right now, a smug smile on his face. </p><p>The kind of unfairly gorgeous face that TK wanted to see on the other side of his fist – maybe even twice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>453</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Really Hate How Much I Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another two days before the episode for the promo that shook us all airs, and of course I decided to finish my fic about these two beautiful men 😂</p><p>A huge thank you to <a>mtngirlforever</a> on Tumblr who graciously provided me with the information about Carlos' car, because it truly is a navy blue piece of beauty 😉</p><p>Came across <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4p-g3AprzU">this song</a> and played it on repeat while writing this 😁</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there was one thing in life, one <em>person</em> to be specific, that Tyler Kennedy Strand, son of the well-known Austin firefighter captain of the 126 could not stand being around for more than five seconds, it was probably the guy standing in the middle of their common area right now, a smug smile on his face. </p><p>The kind of unfairly gorgeous face that TK wanted to see on the other side of his fist – maybe even twice. </p><p>“See? And that’s how you win table soccer <em>without</em> spinning.” Carlos smirked that goddamn smirk of his that practically <em>screamed</em> cocky, and TK ignored the part of him that found the off-duty cop kind of hot being that adorably arrogant, and instead focussing on the part of him that was beyond irritated. </p><p>It was easier to hate the player than the game, after all. </p><p>“You definitely cheated.” TK accused, pointing a finger at the man standing just across from him, not even remotely afraid that he might be arrested for threatening a cop because honestly, who is <em>this</em> good at <em>table soccer?</em></p><p>Also he was off-duty, but still. TK never held back with their arguments even if Carlos was in uniform, because he knew his rights. </p><p>And right now, his rights were <em>beyond</em> annoyed at the godly figure of the man who just beat him at his own challenge.</p><p>Not only had Carlos followed all those stupid rules Judd insisted the game had, but he had wiped the floor with the final score being 3-2, and not in favour of TK. </p><p>“You’re just a sore loser who can’t admit defeat when someone beats you at your own hustle.” Carlos smirked, and TK scowled, crossing his arms across his chest, unimpressed. </p><p>“That ball was literally <em>blocked</em> by one of my men, how the hell did it manage to somehow swerve and end in my net? You definitely cheated.” TK narrowed his eyes, and Carlos snickered, crossing his own arms haughtily to mirror TK. </p><p>Which, <em>rude.</em></p><p>“You mean how you tried to defend that goal but accidentally ricochet that ball off another one of your players into your own net?” Carlos asked innocently, and TK wondered if that act had ever fooled anyone, because his eyes were screaming <em>smugness.</em> </p><p>“He’s right, TK, Carlos made that goal fair and square.” Paul pitched in, and TK turned his glare over at his co-worker/<em>ex</em>-best friend because seriously? The <em>audacity-</em></p><p>“He wiped the floor with your ass fair and square, it was beautiful.” Mateo chipped in, and TK wondered if it would be high treason to murder his entire crew because clearly their loyalty lied elsewhere. </p><p>But then he would have to explain to his dad why they needed to recruit a new team and that would be an even more pain in the ass. </p><p>“I literally hate you all.” TK muttered, and scowled deeper when he felt Judd’s teasing pats on his shoulder in mock sympathy. </p><p>“Feel free to come here more often to level his high horse Carlos, we need someone like you.” Judd smirked, and TK rolled his eyes as Carlos fist-bumped with what he thought was his brother who had his back but this ‘we’re a crew; a family,’ clearly had other priorities. </p><p>“We do not <em>need</em> someone like him. Why are you here again?” TK grumbled, ignoring his crew’s snickers as Carlos merely grinned. </p><p>“Well, since I’m off today, I decided to be a model citizen and show a token of my appreciation for the recently established firefighting team of the 126 by delivering home-cooked tamales.” Carlos smiled sweetly, and if TK didn’t have moral standards, he probably would have smacked that smirk off his face. </p><p>Sweet smile his <em>ass.</em></p><p>“Shouldn’t you be at home polishing your gun or playing with your handcuffs? Maybe you can drive around the neighbourhood with the sirens on and arrest yourself for being a public nuisance.” TK was sometimes amazed at how snarky he could be in the presence of the cop, but Carlos wasn’t even phased. </p><p>
  <em>Asshole.</em>
</p><p>“Yes, because you clearly slide down poles in your living room when you’re off duty and hose down your neighbours houses for fun.” Carlos said sarcastically, and TK narrowed his eyes when snorts of laughter came behind him that sounded suspiciously like Mateo and Marjan. </p><p>He really needed new friends. </p><p>It seemed the universe was wisely preventing a homicide that was no doubt probably going to happen by how the two first responders were practically murdering each other with their eyes because just as TK was about to respond with a scathing comment, the alarm blared through the station. His team quickly got their game face on as they raced to get their gear, and TK merely spun around to join them, sprinting down the stairs instead of using the pole like he usually does (take that, Carlos) gearing up with his crew in record time. </p><p>TK chanced a tiny glance back to where Carlos had been standing to see him leaning against the railing on the upper floor, watching them with a small smile on his face. Refusing to acknowledge the slight skip in his usually normal heartbeat, TK climbed into the truck, sitting down in his usual seat just as Judd started the engine and sirens. </p><p>“Explain to me how every single encounter you two seem to have turns into a battlefield.” </p><p>TK looked up from where he was playing with the straps on his helmet to see Marjan looking at him imploringly, an impressive eyebrow raised elegantly. </p><p>TK found himself scowling at the mere mention of the cop. “Not my fault he’s a cocky asshole with a terrible personality.” TK scoffed, and Marjan huffed in exasperated amusement. </p><p>“Carlos? A cocky asshole with a terrible personality? Are we really talking about the same guy here?” Judd called out from the front, and Paul nodded. </p><p>“He seems really chill to me, and humble. Never seems to take anything for granted, always there if you need someone to lean on.” Paul pointed out, and TK frowned. </p><p>“Well isn’t he just a rolling ball of sunshine.” TK rolled his eyes, the sarcasm rolling off him like waves on a beach and grunted when Paul elbowed him in the side. </p><p>“Seriously, why do you two hate each other so much?” Paul raised an eyebrow, and TK flinched slightly at the word <em>hate,</em> because in all honesty…</p><p>In all honesty, that would be the last word he would use to describe what he felt for the man. </p><p>“Wouldn’t you like to know.” TK murmured, turning his gaze away from his team and opted to look out the window to gaze at the houses they were speeding by. </p><p>Paul’s question had his mind reeling back to the first time he saw those warm brown eyes. </p><p>He remembered a gun attached to the hip of a man standing beside a cruiser in the dim lighting of vehicle headlights and sparse streetlamps, the toned body being covered by an APD jacket to fend against the light drizzle… and a voice that made TK’s heart forget how to beat for a moment. </p><p>It was only for a moment, but that moment was enough for TK to know he couldn’t go down this path again. </p><p>Because the last time his lungs had forgotten how to breathe in the presence of a human being was in New York. As cautiously as his heart had left the cages of its walls, it still wasn’t quick enough to avoid the words that stabbed through quiet confessions being brought out into the open over a fancy dinner. It wasn’t quick enough to shield itself from the view of the back of a man he thought he would spend the rest of his life with walking away from him, without looking back. </p><p>TK would always remember that night, because he promised himself that he would <em>never make the same mistake again.</em></p><p>Because although the stab was quick and effortless, the scar left behind had yet to heal. </p><p>Which was why the moment he realized what was happening when he saw Carlos Reyes that night on their first call together since moving to Austin, he merely allowed himself a few split seconds of admiration and reveled the brief warmth that flushed his cheeks, before closing his eyes and locked it away. </p><p>Nothing could hurt if you didn’t allow yourself to care in the first place. </p><p>Which was why, when Carlos spoke to him for the first time, a gentle smile on his lips as they surveyed the scene, TK pushed down the rush of excitement and instead fixated the man a glare and answered his greeting with sharp words, ignoring the tightness in his chest as he watched the gentle smile dim. It seemed he had hit a nerve sometime in their argument, because before he knew it, there was absolutely nothing friendly about their first conversation together as they exchanged biting retorts. As Carlos looked at him straight in the eyes towards the end of the night, TK felt his gut twist at the hostile shadow present in his eyes that had been <em>oh so warm</em> just a few minutes ago.</p><p>He couldn’t really complain though. </p><p>After all, it was easier to hate than to love. </p><p>Hate meant doing the stabbing, while love…</p><p><em>Love was always the one being stabbed.</em>  </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>TK hadn’t planned on getting arrested.</p><p>It must be some sort of record, getting arrested after barely being in Austin for 100 days. </p><p>His thoughts had truly been innocent at first – go to a bar, drown his spiraling thoughts in mineral water, then go home to accompany his dad in a mini Netflix binge.</p><p>What he hadn’t counted on, were the couple of buff guys eyeing down the female bartender like she was an item at an auction that they were dollars away from purchasing. It was honestly a little sad, watching them try and fail to get her attention time and time again. </p><p>TK didn’t particularly blame her though. </p><p>He didn’t know why he felt compelled to do what he did next, but through the gray skyline he had strayed into since leaving New York, he wondered…</p><p>Turns out one against five buff men weren’t odds in his favour. </p><p>He barely remembered the rough hands that yanked him away from the men, the metal clinking of handcuffs being tightened around his wrists and the angry voice growling in his ear telling him to <em>calm the fuck down</em> before reading him his rights that went in one ear and out the other. </p><p>TK didn’t recognize any of the officers that happened upon the scene, but he was a little grateful they shoved all of them in different cars to no doubt head towards the police station. When his heart had stopped thumping erratically in his chest from the adrenaline, a shadow of dread flowed through him when he realized there was one person on the force he did <em>not</em> want to see right now. </p><p><em>Please, please, please be off duty today.</em> </p><p>His prayers hadn’t been answered. </p><p>Because of course out of all the cops in the entire city of Austin they could have given him, <em>Carlos Reyes</em> had to situate himself into the seat at the previously empty desk TK was sitting at, nursing his black eye with an ice pack. </p><p>He knew he wasn’t really paying attention to their tense and stifled conversation – having tuned out when Carlos pulled out his full name – but TK also wasn’t expecting the underlying concern that seemed to almost overpower the anger radiating off the cop like heat waves. </p><p>“Are you even listening to me?” Carlos clenched his jaw tightly, and TK really wished he had just gone straight home instead of taking the detour. </p><p>Why did he have the worst luck in the world sometimes? </p><p>“Does it matter?” TK muttered, and he swore if glares could kill, he would be in a grave seven feet under. </p><p>Six was too shallow. </p><p>It seemed like Carlos was about to bite back a sharp response, but held himself back, instead taking in a deep breath and TK watched as his shoulders lowered slightly from its tense state since sitting down in front of him. </p><p>“Are you-how are you feeling?” Carlos opted to ask instead, and TK stared at him with wary eyes, a little surprised at the change in direction of the conversation. </p><p>“Like I got thrown around like a bean bag by men twice my size.” TK muttered, and Carlos sighed. </p><p>“Do you…would you like a ride home?” Carlos asked tentatively, and TK didn’t know what to do with the sudden change of air between them. After everything they’ve argued about, after every hurtful word TK has ever said to him, this man still offered to drive him home without batting an eyelid, the offer so easily put out like he was simply talking about the terrible weather they’ve been having. </p><p>Plus, he was <em>on-duty.</em>  </p><p>
  <em>“He seems really chill to me, and humble. Never seems to take anything for granted, always there if you need someone to lean on.”</em>
</p><p>Of course Paul’s words would come back to bite him in the ass one day. </p><p>“It’s alright, I’ll just take an uber. Plus, you’re still on the job.” TK pointed out, still a little caught off-guard how this was probably the most civil conversation they’ve had in, well, ever. He watched as Carlos shook his head, already getting up from his seat. </p><p>“There’s only five minutes left of my shift, so it’s no big deal.” Carlos shrugged. TK was too stunned to do anything else but follow the man outside. There had been one car in the lot that had caught his eye and said car’s lights flashed when Carlos took out his keys to unlock it. </p><p>What were the chances. </p><p>“<em>This</em> is your car?” TK blinked nonchalantly at the sleek navy-blue object in front of him – who was he kidding, he was practically drooling at the absolutely <em>gorgeous</em> navy blue Chevy Camaro that was gracing his presence. TK didn’t even notice that Carlos had unlocked it, trying and failing to not look as impressed as he was. By the slight uplift of the corner of Carlos’ lips, he hadn’t quite succeeded. </p><p>“No, I just stole it from evidence. After I drop you off, I’m going to make a few bucks by selling it at the nearest car dealership.” If TK hadn’t known any better, he would almost say Carlos was <em>teasing</em> him, but of course, he knew better. TK still managed to shoot the man an impressive scowl accompanied with a glare without wincing in pain, and begrudgingly climbed into the car when Carlos opened the passenger door for him. </p><p>Seems like chivalry wasn’t completely dead. </p><p>The drive back was quiet, though surprisingly not awkward like TK had expected. The silence had almost been…</p><p>Comfortable. </p><p>TK refused to acknowledge it was disappointment when they reached his house sooner than he expected, but the disappointment was quickly replaced with slight panic as he tried to scramble up what to say. Usually they would just immediately get into an argument ending with glares and the occasional middle finger, but that had been before, when TK hadn’t gotten himself arrested and practically threw every single insult he could come up with at the cop who now seemed just as lost as to what to do – so he shut off the engine.</p><p>Which was a start. </p><p>“I should-“ TK cut himself off, not exactly knowing what to say because never had he fathomed actually wanting to be <em>civil</em> with the man sitting beside him. Carlos seemed to be just as uncomfortable, if not more as he fidgeted his hands along the steering wheel. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah um- let’s just-“ Carlos opened up the door at his driver’s side and TK did the same to his own, the two now standing outside of the car in their awkward atmosphere instead of seated inside to suffocate in it. TK was just about to turn and walk (more like run) up the driveway towards his front door to rid them of how incredibly awkward they were being, when Carlos’ words had him pause in his step. </p><p>“You have a little crud there, by the way.” Carlos gestured to his lips which TK absolutely did not stare at and lifted a hand to his own to hopefully wipe away what Carlos had meant. Apparently not being able to see himself without a mirror really wasn’t coming in handy at the moment, because Carlos only shook his head. </p><p>“Other side.” TK was truly confused on where the crud could be right now because he swore, he had just wiped every inch of his lower lip without finding anything. “Here just, let me-“ Carlos reached forward and-</p><p>And TK’s lungs forgot how to breathe.</p><p>There was a gentle pressure against his lip where TK assumed was where the crud was, the tissue that Carlos had produced out of nowhere being carefully maneuvered against his bruised lip so that the administration didn’t hurt him. </p><p>
  <em>Inhale, exhale.</em>
</p><p>TK made the mistake of lifting his gaze, because when their eyes met, he was brought back to the first time, but this time…this time, TK didn’t see the usual animosity in those expressive brown orbs. </p><p>Instead, he saw something else pooling in them that he couldn’t quite put a finger on. </p><p>Couldn’t quite put a finger on, and wouldn’t dare to ponder exactly what it was. </p><p>The firefighter wasn’t sure how long they had stood there on the driveway just staring at each other, but TK snapped out of it when he felt something warm fluttering in his chest and stepped back abruptly, willing his heart to <em>shut up.</em> </p><p>Even though he really needed to stop looking at Carlos, stop being in his general vicinity to get his thoughts and emotions under control, TK mustered all the courage he had to say two words that he had never thought would be said between them. </p><p>
  <em>“Thank you.”</em>
</p><p>TK didn’t wait for Carlos’ answer, instead speeding to his front door to get inside his house. He slammed it shut and immediately leaned against it as he turned the lock, slumping down from the weight of everything that’s happened in the span of five hours. </p><p>He didn’t need a mirror to know what he looked like right now. </p><p>A pink flush to his cheeks, a growing smile on his lips that only grew in size as he lifted up a hand to press over the area where Carlos had gently prodded at with the tissue. TK allowed himself the couple of minutes to collect himself and reel his onslaught of emotions back in, closing his eyes briefly as he shoved his heart back into the cage that had cracked from the events of tonight. </p><p><em>This feeling will pass.</em> </p><p>And yet, as he kept on repeating that like a mantra in his mind, TK couldn’t help but peek through the curtains of the window facing the driveway. </p><p> </p><p>If he kept on staring out at the driveway until Carlos drove away, well, no one had to know. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>TK has barely been in Austin for four months and already, he knows exactly what it feels like to have a damn heart attack.</p><p><em>Today was the day he would commit murder.</em>  </p><p>“You absolute <em>idiot!</em>” </p><p>TK didn’t care that the rest of his team were standing by, watching him warily, his own father looking like he was a moment away from walking over the couple of steps to hopefully calm his son down. </p><p>No, TK didn’t care for any of that, because he was currently straddling the lap of the stupidest human being on this planet at the moment, his heartrate having not stopped racing since seeing that beam falling. </p><p>“What were you <em>thinking?!</em> Oh that’s right, you probably weren’t, because I’m pretty sure the first thing they’re supposed to teach you in the police academy is to <em>not run towards burning buildings!</em> And what do you do? You run towards one and almost get killed!” TK shouted, a hand gripping the collar of the all too familiar police uniform to tug the person he was straddling closer and didn’t take his eyes away from Carlos who was staring at him, wide-eyed. </p><p>TK wasn’t exactly sure what his own eyes looked like at the moment, but judging from the fury he could practically feel in every single one of his blood cells, and the way his father halted in his steps towards them to back off slightly, he decided it probably wasn’t anything good. </p><p>“You are <em>not</em> a firefighter! You do not get to judge whether the burning building is safe or not before charging towards it on instinct! That’s <em>our</em> job, and <em>your</em> job, is stuff like crowd control, taking care of everything out here so we don’t have to worry about idiotic asses like you when <em>we’re</em> in there!” TK gestured wildly at the slightly less burning building behind them because Paul and Marjan had successfully put out most of the flames by now, but his point still stands. </p><p>TK would be feeling the chills for some time; would be feeling the way his heart seemed to forget how to pump blood around his body when Carlos rushed forward from the safe zone to run towards a kid who had tripped on the grass as a falling beam was falling towards him. </p><p>And how another beam was falling in the path Carlos was running. </p><p>He remembered shouting his name, his legs moving on their own accord as he didn’t even think and threw himself at the cop, rolling them both from the force of it. TK barely registered the pained grunt from underneath him, his eyes darting to the kid quickly who had safely been secured by Paul, only getting a few scrapes and bruises as his protective gear had carried the blunt of the impact. </p><p>If Carlos had been the one to-</p><p>TK didn’t even think before shoving the chest of the man he was sitting on as he tried to get up into a seating position. TK was strong, his daily pull-ups and weightlifting weren’t just for show, but Carlos’ muscles were another story altogether. He tried not to feel slightly offended when Carlos barely budged from his hard shove, but his anger won over his emotions – the worry and concern can come later when he’s alone where Carlos can’t see.  </p><p>“So fucking do your job and let us do ours.” TK snapped, his eyes now scanning Carlos’ body for any blood, if he had still been hurt in some way-</p><p>“I’m okay.” </p><p>TK jumped at the hand that had moved to grab his arm firmly as he patted the cop down – firmly, but still gentle. He looked up to see Carlos’ gaze had softened, but TK could see the slight guilt as the cop squeezed his arm. </p><p>“And I’m sorry.” Carlos murmured, his gaze lowering to the ground, and TK felt the anger slowly fading away, and instead started to notice that by straddling the cop’s lap, he was finally taller for once. TK had gotten used to slightly tilting his head up whenever they argued, how he would always feel a small puff of air on the back of his neck whenever he elbowed the other in the stomach during their altercations. With how close they were in this position, TK could see the cop’s eyelashes moving every time he blinked, the slight furrow in his brows that never seemed to disappear when he was on the clock. The five o’clock shadow was almost close enough to touch and TK felt his fingers twitching as he thought why not-</p><p>Okay no, the anger was good. Anger meant distracting him from thoughts he should <em>not</em> be having right now, or at all for that matter. </p><p>Almost like Carlos could sense what he was thinking, those hauntingly captivating brown eyes lifted and almost met his own, but TK was one step faster as he quickly scrambled up from the man’s lap, standing up shakily. Carlos followed suit, and TK avoided his gaze. </p><p>“Never do that again.” </p><p>TK didn’t wait for Carlos’ answer before heading back to his team, and caught his father’s eye, giving him a nod letting him know he was alright. Owen raised an eyebrow but nodded back, deciding not to ask any further. </p><p>“That was…very impressive.” Mateo marveled. </p><p>“Damnnn TK, you really ripped him a new one.” Paul whistled, and TK scowled. </p><p>Maybe he should have just straddled Carlos’ lap for a few moments longer. </p><p>“Thought you two weren’t friends.” Judd tilted his head in question, and TK couldn’t even get a word in edgewise before Marjan followed that up with, “you looked awfully comfortable over there.” </p><p>Yep, he should have <em>definitely</em> stayed in that lap longer. </p><p>“I haven’t seen you that angry in a long time.” TK turned to see Owen walking up to him as the others moved to start putting stuff back into the trucks.  “I hope you didn’t scare the poor officer, I was starting to like him.” Owen nudged his son playfully, and TK snorted. </p><p>“Not even close to how much he scared me.” TK admitted quietly, and Owen grew quiet by his side, his eyes watching him carefully before he reached up a hand to pat TK’s shoulder gently. </p><p>“Let me guess, you don’t want to talk about it?” </p><p>“Not in the slightest.” </p><p>TK saw his dad frowning slightly through the corner of his eye, and he thought Owen would just leave it at that, because TK really didn’t want to delve further into the subject. </p><p>“Carlos is a good guy.” Owen said gently, and TK avoided the captain’s gaze. “You don’t need to keep punishing yourself for the past, TK. There’s a reason why it’s the <em>past.</em> If you keep yourself from potentially having something good because of mistakes and hurt that you’ve already grown and learned from, then you’ll lose it before you’ve even had a chance to hold it in the first place.” Owen gave him one last pat on the shoulder before jumping into one of the trucks. TK swept his gaze around one last time, his gaze lingering on Carlos who was talking to some other officers. From this distance, TK felt the words he had wanted to say for a while now on the tip of his tongue, the words that he still hadn’t dared to explore. </p><p>But it wasn’t like Carlos would hear him from this distance, so maybe…maybe he could just see what it felt like to-</p><p>“I really like you.” TK said quietly, the familiar warmth building up in his chest as he watched Carlos chuckling at something another officer said, before he shook himself out of it and followed his dad into the truck. </p><p>
  <em>I really, really like you.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>“911, what’s your emergency?”<br/>
“He can’t pull his head out!”</em>
  </p>
</div><br/><p>They didn’t exactly work in the same field, but they might as well have considering the amount of times their paths cross during calls.</p><p>“After nearly six months of being in Austin, you’d think I’d finally get used to how hot it is all the damn time.” Paul huffed, looking like he was debating whether he should break protocol and just take his AFD shirt off, which, TK couldn’t really judge because he himself was close on doing the exact same thing. But dispatch had them heading towards a children’s playground, and he didn’t think the parents, nor the children would appreciate a group of half naked firefighters showing up in all their glory and not sue the city for…being hot? Was that a thing? </p><p>“Well, I’ve lived here my whole life and I’m still not used to the heat, so I’d say it’s something we just have to learn to bear.” Judd sighed, wiping off the never-ending sweat off his forehead again, and Paul groaned, a groan that quickly turned into a badly hidden snort when he looked at something on the playground they were heading towards. TK followed his gaze only to bite back a grin of his own when he saw a man’s behind sticking out from the bottom of a tube slide, other grown-ups and children crowded around him. Paul and Marjan quickly worked to have the crowd move back, and TK finally had a better look at the situation. The man was wearing slacks and dress shoes in this weather, and there was a school just a grass field away, so he had to be-</p><p>“Mr. Philips?” </p><p>TK turned to see Carlos making his way towards them, and he didn’t know if it was the trick of the sunlight, but he swore he saw the cop’s gaze swing to his for a few seconds before looking at the…butt of the man stuck in the slide. Carlos nodded to Owen politely and the captain gave him a small smile, nodding back in greeting. </p><p>“Yes?” The man’s voice came out muffled inside the slide, and TK could tell Carlos was also trying his best not to laugh. </p><p>“The…other teachers told me you had vacated the premises in a hurry, but I would just like to let you know that the black and white monsters have been dealt with.” Carlos said, trying his best to sound serious but TK called bullshit on that as his lips were twitching more than an over-eager rabbit’s whiskers. </p><p>“Oh! Oh that’s…that’s good.” The man in the slide said in relief. </p><p>“Black and white monsters…?” Mateo asked in confusion, and Carlos nodded. </p><p>“There was a call earlier about someone seeing something black and white running around the school. Turns out it was just two raccoons, so we called animal control and they took care of it. But uh, it seems that the event startled Mr. Philips and he ran out of the school before anyone could stop him.” Carlos explained, and TK worked really hard to keep up his poker face, he really did. Paul and Marjan had completely given up being professional and started to snicker unabashedly into the palms of their hands, while Owen just shook his head, an amused shine in his eyes. </p><p>Guess that explained why the man decided to get stuck in a tube slide on a <em>children’s</em> playground. </p><p>“Hey, you didn’t see those things, okay? I swear they were going to eat me alive!” The man huffed in the slide, and he really needed to stop talking or TK wasn’t sure he could hold back the urge to laugh <em>so badly.</em> </p><p>“Alright, TK and Marjan, you two are in charge of cutting him loose – get the saw. Judd and Paul, we’re going to need lubrication to get his head loose and a neck brace. Call EMT and have them on standby. Probie, help officer Reyes in getting our audience to stand back.” Owen instructed, and they immediately moved to their captain’s commands, TK slightly cringing at the thought of using the saw, because it was probably every firefighter’s least favourite instrument. Not only was it ridiculously heavy, but the sound was horrendous. He grabbed the instrument while Marjan gathered the measuring tape and some other supplies, so focussed on his task that he almost missed it. </p><p>“Oh my, aren’t you just absolutely stunning.” </p><p>TK startled and almost dropped the saw when a hand grasped his bicep, squeezing experimentally. His eyes widened as he looked at the elderly woman who had spoken, the grandma of presumably the child clutching her summer dress beside her. </p><p>“I’m…sorry?” TK blinked, and the elderly woman grinned. </p><p>“No need to be modest boy, you’ve got some great muscles in those hunky arms of yours that would look absolutely wonderful around my niece’s shoulders.” The woman winked, and TK…honestly was at a loss for words. </p><p>Was this lady flirting with him…<em>for</em> her niece? </p><p>“Oh, you have great taste ma’am, his muscles are certainly something.” Marjan piped up beside him, and what the hell, when had she caught up with him? TK narrowed his eyes when he heard badly hidden snickers and looked up to see Mateo and Carlos, the two having stood close enough to overhear, watching on with great amusement. </p><p>TK wasn’t sure if he wanted to smack the smirk off of Carlos’ lips or kiss him breathless until he forgot all about what he was smirking at. </p><p>And honesty progress, because just six months before, he would have just wanted to run him over with his own cruiser, preferably twice just to make sure the deal was done. Maybe once with his cruiser, the second time with his stupidly gorgeous car, just to be petty. </p><p>TK settled to just smile politely at the woman, gently stepping out of her hold on him. </p><p>“I’m sorry ma’am, I appreciate the compliment, but I’m very gay.” TK thought the woman would just frown, disappointed, and walk away, but instead he was greeted with an even wider grin than before. </p><p>“Oh, that’s marvelous! Then my best girlfriend’s nephew would love to take you out, his arms aren’t quite as impressive as yours mind you, but I’m sure you won’t mind. He’s a lawyer.” The woman almost looked like she was a second away from planning the wedding, and TK couldn’t help a chuckle at her enthusiasm. He distantly wondered if her niece and best girlfriend’s nephew knew if their exuberant family member was out here trying to get them laid, but TK couldn’t help but be a little impressed at how meticulous she was at it. He looked up and caught Carlos’ gaze, raising an eyebrow at how thoroughly the man seemed to be enjoying himself with the conversation, when a thought occurred that made the firefighter smirk mischievously. </p><p>“I actually have to go and free that man in the slide, but if you look behind you there’s an officer with even more impressive muscles than mine, I’m sure he would <em>love</em> to meet you.” TK said the last bit a little louder just to be a little shit and suppressed a grin when the amusement dropped from Carlos’ face and he almost looked…frightened. The elderly woman turned to the direction he indicated, and TK smirked when her eyes visibly lit up as if she had won the lottery. The last thing TK saw before making the rest of the way to the slide was Carlos’ deer in the headlight’s look as the woman practically threw herself at him in excitement. </p><p>“You think Carlos’ muscles are impressive?” TK almost dropped the saw yet again and glared at Marjan who was grinning widely. </p><p>“I have eyes.” TK said shortly, wanting to end the conversation then and there, but of course his crew doesn’t seem to ever get the memo. </p><p>“TK Strand, a true role model. You’ve got females of all generations drooling after you.” Paul smirked, and of course he just had to hear the conversation too. </p><p>Joy. </p><p>“That was <em>one</em> time.” TK protested. All he did was lift the little girl off from the roof of a car, it wasn’t his fault that she had grabbed his arm for stability. He could tell Marjan was about to say something else, so he cut her off before the teasing grew relentless. </p><p>Why was he friends with these people again? </p><p>“We’re here to work, the man isn’t going to cut him out himself.” TK nudged Marjan forward so she could mark down where he had to cut, all the while ignoring her knowing gaze. They worked quickly after that, and soon enough, people were clapping as they freed the man from the slide who winced as he took in the sunlight. Michelle and the other EMT’s were doing their standard check-up, and TK stood a little off to the side, frowning slightly when he realized the playground had to close down as they did construction to fix the slide. </p><p>“You know, it’s against the law to harass police officers.” </p><p>TK didn’t bother turning around – didn’t need to – because he could recognize that voice anywhere. </p><p>He’s heard it enough times for it to be ingrained into memory. </p><p>“Pretty sure there’s also a law out there forbidding officers to just stand around laughing at your expense while elderly women try to set you up with their family members.” TK raised an eyebrow in challenge, and Carlos scoffed, placing one of his hands on his duty belt which should not be as sexy as it was. </p><p>“You left me alone to fend off her marriage proposals to literally every male figure that’s single in her family.” Carlos complained petulantly, and TK couldn’t help a genuine smile that slowly stretched on his lips. </p><p>
  <em>Cute.</em>
</p><p>“Aw, you poor thing.” TK teased, and looked up to meet Carlos’ gaze, which had lost all the hostility they held just a few months ago. TK didn’t need to see his reflection to know his eyes were just as warm, their original combative confrontations transforming into friendly teasing, teetering the borderline of pure <em>flirting.</em></p><p>Things had changed between them in the last six months. For one thing, TK has graciously accepted his feelings for the officer standing next to him. Ever since he left New York, it had been touch and go for a while – his line of sight changing from seeing vibrant colours of the world to dull gray. He didn’t think he would ever be able to see the beauties the world had to offer for a long time, but of course, life had other plans. </p><p>They threw Carlos Reyes at him and expected him to remain calm.</p><p>Fuck calm.  </p><p>First off, their initial meeting was anything <em>but</em> calm, and TK had glared at the world that day, wondering what the hell he did to deserve such a slap in the face by an entire human being. Not only had the man been absolutely beautiful with brown eyes that could stand in for melted chocolate for fondue, but he had to be a cop and amazingly kind and wonderful? Seriously, how was that even fair? It was like they dumped every potion they could find that screamed protective cinnamon roll to end up with the final product of Carlos Reyes, so much so that TK was almost certain there had to be someone out there who was left with the rest of the ingredients and living a life being rude and miserable.</p><p>Back then, he hadn’t been ready. His heart was still fresh from the scars Alex had left, and he wasn’t ready to let his heart free from the chains he created that night. It was truly easier, to push Carlos away – to keep him at an arm’s length because TK had been terrified that if he wandered down that same path again, and so soon, he wouldn’t be able to pick himself up a second time. </p><p>It might sound ridiculous, but TK was sure that, in a way, their spiteful confrontations during their early stages helped him to heal. </p><p>He had finally found a way to let out some of the things he had been feeling in a round-about way, and those altercations with Carlos soon became the one thing he actually looked forward to every day. He could just be himself, let out his feelings while being challenged at the same time by a man who could give as hard as he got. TK had never really had that with Alex, because he always pushed himself to only show him why he was datable, with cheeky smiles and lighthearted conversations. There had always been an invisible weight on his shoulders back then, which he noticed had begun to slowly but surly fade away after he moved to Austin with his father to create the 126. </p><p>TK couldn’t recall exactly when it had happened, but Carlos Reyes had become an important part of his new beginning since Day 1, and throughout the last six months, he had, without a doubt, completely captured his heart too. </p><p>Just standing beside him now was enough to have his insides fumble as they forgot how to communicate, which also made his brain to mouth connection falter sometimes. </p><p>“I can make it up to you?” TK found himself saying before he could process what those words could mean and felt panic rising in his chest as he anticipated Carlos’ reaction. He watched the man cautiously, looking for any signs of discomfort, but only saw his smile widen as he stepped closer into TK’s space. </p><p>“Make it up to me, huh?” Carlos murmured, and TK felt himself relax when he realized Carlos was stepping even closer instead of backing away, grinning wider when he saw Carlos’ eyes dropping to his lips unsubtly. </p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>TK felt like he was practically floating when he realized this thing between them wasn’t just in his head, that he wasn’t the only one who felt the electricity buzzing beneath his skin as he let Carlos move even <em>closer.</em> </p><p>“Of course <em>Officer Reyes,</em> you should know by now I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep.” TK didn’t know where this bout of confidence was coming from, but he couldn’t exactly back down now. He saw Carlos’ eyes turn all soft, and knew that, the man could also hear the unspoken words between them. TK felt a warm hand land on his hip, the other behind his neck and tilted his head up further to meet the eyes of the man that had brought colour back into his life. His own hands reached up to cradle Carlos’ face gently and let out a soft sound as Carlos turned to kiss the palm of his left hand tenderly. TK’s breath hitched as Carlos tugged him closer with the hand on his hip, his eyes <em>smouldering</em> as he leaned in. TK closed his eyes and wondered if Carlos could hear the way his heart was thudding loudly in his chest, their lips so close that TK could practically taste-</p><p>“Abuela, what are they doing?” </p><p>TK jumped and practically flung himself away from Carlos, who looked equally as startled. If it had been any other situation, TK would have probably laughed at how caught off-guard the police officer looked – weren’t they supposed to be trained professionals? The two first responders turned to see the elderly woman from before practically <em>glaring</em> at the child by her side. </p><p>“Kiara Brook Buckley-Diaz, those two beautiful men were having a moment!” The elderly woman scolded, and the little girl, Kiara, tilted her head, confused. </p><p>“What’s a ‘moment’?” Kiara asked, and the elderly woman sighed. </p><p>“How is your daughter still so innocent, Edmundo, when you can barely keep your hands off your husband even after six years? Should I be impressed, or should I smack some sense into that one-track brain of yours?” The woman muttered, and TK didn’t know whether to feel disappointed or amused at the situation, so he settled for a little bit of both.</p><p>“I’m so sorry for my great-grandchild, you two carry on and pretend we’re not even here.” The woman grinned, winking, and TK exchanged an amused glance with Carlos, whose cheeks had turned slightly pink. </p><p>“I am so sorry for trying to set both of you up dears, I clearly need to work on my matchmaking skills for not realizing you two were together.” The woman apologized, her eyes twinkling as if finally realizing something, and TK felt his own cheeks flush at the words. The woman didn’t even give him time to recover before finishing off the blow with,</p><p>“His muscles <em>are</em> quite impressive, aren’t they? I’m sure you would know more than anyone.” The woman winked again, before leading her granddaughter away, and TK kind of wanted to faceplant into the ground and let the seasons do their job until he was completely buried. </p><p>“Well that was…unexpected.” </p><p>TK turned to Carlos who seemed to have composed himself and felt his body tingling all over again when he recalled what had almost happened before they got interrupted. Smiling in fond amusement when he realized Carlos looked <em>disappointed,</em> TK quickly sauntered up to the officer, leaning up and placing a quick kiss on his right cheek before he could talk himself out of it. He grinned when he felt Carlos’ breath hitch in surprise and reached up to place a gentle hand over Carlos’ heart, patting his chest softly. </p><p>“We should probably get back to work.” TK could hear the slight dejection in his own tone and knew that Carlos had picked up on it when he leaned forward to knock their foreheads together playfully. TK made to pull back and was about to turn around to head back to his team, but a hand gripped his before he could make it very far. TK turned a questioning look to Carlos who only smiled and lifted his hand to place a soft kiss on the back of his knuckles. </p><p>
  <em>Breathe lungs, just <strong>breathe.</strong></em>
</p><p>“I’ll call you.” Carlos murmured, and TK couldn’t really make out any words at the moment, so he felt himself nodding, before spinning around and speed-walking back to the trucks. He took one look at Paul and knew that they had seen enough judging by the smirk on their faces, but right now, TK could care less. </p><p>He was floating on <em>cloud nine.</em></p><p>“So…definitely not friends, huh?”</p><p>“Shut up Paul.” </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Sometimes, TK really hated the media. </p><p>They always shoved their ways to the front line, so desperate for being the first to know everything and not even giving the public a chance to breathe before bombarding them with information. Information that should not have been distributed before family members and friends learned of it themselves first. </p><p>Because they need a chance to process, a chance to <em>understand the situation</em> before the media blows it out of proportions – because they never held back, never caring how someone would feel when they listen to the local news and hear on the tv,</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>“Just over twenty minutes ago, an officer was shot when pursuing a suspect in a robbery. Emergency response was quickly dispatched to the scene, and we have identified the officer to be an officer Reyes with the-“ </em></p>
</div>before even receiving any information in a private phone call themselves.<p>TK sat in the uncomfortable chairs in the hospital waiting room, still not quite sure how he got there because when he heard ‘shooting’ and ‘officer Reyes’ his mind shut off. Had his dad driven him? Judd maybe? His thoughts were everywhere and nowhere at the same time, unable to process any given thought as he stared at the door that lead to the operating room. </p><p>TK refused to believe that Carlos wouldn’t come out fine. TK <em>needed</em> him to be fine. They had barely started whatever it was that sparked between them, he couldn’t…couldn’t just– </p><p>“Breathe, TK.” </p><p>An arm was gently squeezing his shoulder, and TK vaguely remembered Michelle sitting down beside him some time ago – how long had it been since he got here? Minutes? Hours? Days? </p><p>TK took in a breath. </p><p>Noise assaulted his ears as he reset his senses, and instead of the white noise he succumbed himself to after collapsing into the chair he hadn’t budged from since he got here, TK finally turned to see Michelle watching him in that calm way she always seemed to compose herself in. Except TK could see the slight twist in her facial expression to know that she probably was doing as well as he was at the moment. </p><p>“How do you do it.” TK whispered, clenching his clasped hands tighter in his lap, and Michelle sighed. </p><p>“The first time this happened, I was a nervous wreck.” Michelle said quietly, and TK chose to ignore the twist in his gut when he realized this would probably not be the first time nor last time TK would be sitting like this again. </p><p>Waiting, hoping, praying. </p><p>“You never get better at it. I just remind myself that Carlos is a fighter, and that I refuse to believe he would give up without one hell of a fight.” Michelle squeezed his shoulder, and TK closed his eyes, allowing the paramedic’s words to wash over him. </p><p>“Carlos Reyes?” </p><p>TK shot up from his chair with Michelle who did it with a little more grace, but all he could see and hear was the doctor removing his mask and meeting his gaze. </p><p>“Are you family?” The doctor frowned, and TK faltered on how to answer that. Usually only family members were privy to information right after surgery, and he just really wants to know if Carlos is okay, if he still-</p><p>“This is Carlos’ fiancé. I’m the paramedic that brought him in.” Michelle didn’t even bat an eyelid, and TK forced himself not to choke on air in the middle of the hospital waiting room. The doctor seemed to accept that and offered a tight smile. </p><p>“Mr. Reyes was shot in the upper right thigh, the bullet barely missing the femoral artery. Had the bullet strayed just a little way further, he would have had many more complications.” The doctor said, and TK felt himself shiver at the implication. </p><p>Carlos could have <em>died-</em></p><p>“We successfully removed the bullet and he’s going to be fine. He’s still under the anesthesia, and it will probably take a couple more hours for him to wake up.” The doctor finished, and that was when TK knew what it felt like to feel his legs giving out beneath him in pure relief. He always questioned how anyone’s legs could just give way simply from overwhelming emotion, but hearing the three words of <em>‘he’ll be fine’</em> took an enormous toll on his body. </p><p>“Can we…can we see him?” TK asked tentatively, and the doctor seemed to soften slightly as he nodded, giving them a room number and pointing them in the direction. TK thanked the doctor quickly before following his instructions, Michelle right behind him. </p><p>And there, lying on the bed, was the man that his heart had completely fallen for. </p><p>Carlos’ eyes were closed as he slept off the anesthesia, and TK watched as his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm as he breathed, the heart monitor a constant noise by his bedside. </p><p>He was alive. </p><p>TK stumbled into the room clumsily, still a little shaky from before, and moved to pull the chair beside the bed even closer and sitting down. He could distantly feel Michelle squeezing his arm in comfort, heard her say something softly before he was left alone in the room. TK eyed the IV line embedded in Carlos’ arm, and couldn’t help but reach out to cover the slightly calloused hand with his. His vision blurred as he clenched the hand tighter, wanting so badly to feel the pressure of Carlos squeezing back, but TK knew he would have to wait a couple more hours for that. </p><p>“You’re going to be okay. I’m right here.” TK whispered, lifting the hand and kissing it softly before pressing it to his cheek, then leaning his forehead against it, wanting so badly to feel the warmth of Carlos’ touch again. </p><p>He didn’t even remember falling asleep. </p><p>But his body snapped to attention, the drowsy feeling leaving in a flash when he realized the hand he was holding was <em>squeezing back.</em> TK turned to the bed, and felt the pressure in his chest finally dissipate when he was met with Carlos’ smiling albeit tired face. </p><p><em>“Hey Tiger.”</em> </p><p>TK didn’t remember the last time he had felt like crying twice in the span of a few hours. He felt the familiar lump in his throat and laughed shakily as he squeezed the hand in his tighter. </p><p>“You’re awake.” TK managed to choke out, and Carlos gently broke free of his hold to cup his cheek softly, his thumb wiping away a stray tear that had escaped. TK leaned into the hold, closing his eyes as he reveled in the warmth. </p><p>“The doctor came by to check up on me earlier, you looked so tired I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” Carlos said softly, and TK smiled, still a little overwhelmed. </p><p>“How are you feeling?” TK asked, before realizing that he should be doing a lot more now that Carlos was finally awake. “Are you thirsty? Do you want to drink some water? I can go get-“ TK was about to spring out of seat but was stopped by Carlos who reached out to grasp his wrist gently. TK looked down at Carlos from his seated position, limbs ready to spring to action at any request that would come out of Carlos’ lips. It seemed like Carlos could read exactly what he was thinking, because he chuckled weakly, and tugged TK closer. </p><p>“Join me.” Carlos smiled, and TK was completely caught off guard. </p><p>What? </p><p>“Wait but-“ TK began to protest, but Carlos cut him off with a look. </p><p>“You asked how I’m feeling. All I’m feeling right now is the yearning of having you by my side so, <em>join me.</em>” Carlos emphasized, and honestly, what else could TK do but slowly – gently, lower himself on the limited space of the hospital bed, and even though he was on Carlos’ left, he still made sure not to jostle him more than necessary. A strong arm wrapped around his shoulders and TK gingerly wrapped his arms around Carlos’ middle, tucking his head in the crook of the man’s neck. </p><p>“You know, the doctor said something interesting when he came in to check up on me.” Carlos murmured, and TK hummed curiously, nosing along the line of Carlos’ collarbone.</p><p>“He told me that my fiancé hadn’t left my side since I was brought in here, and that I had found myself a keeper.” TK froze, lifting his head slightly to meet Carlos’ gaze. His initial panic faded when all he saw in those brown orbs was overwhelming affection, and a hint of amusement. TK let out a nervous chuckle, tucking his head back in its original position and felt Carlos’ arms tightening around him. </p><p>“The doctor asked if we were family. I hesitated because I didn’t know how to answer since I really wanted to know how you were doing but at the same time, I wasn’t sure if it was my place to do so. Michelle took over before I could even realize what was happening, and so apparently now I’m your fiancé.” TK grinned, feeling the shake of Carlos’ chest as he chuckled.  </p><p>“Well <em>fiancé,</em> shouldn’t we go on a date first before we whip out the rings?” Carlos teased, though TK could tell he was serious despite the light tone and tilted his head up to look him in the eyes. He didn’t know what his eyes were portraying, but judging by the warmth that was spreading through his body at Carlos’ tender gaze, TK couldn’t find it in himself to care how ridiculously happy he probably looked right now. </p><p>“As soon as your leg is healed.” TK smiled innocently, and Carlos’ jaw dropped in mock-offense, his lips quickly turning into a pout. </p><p>“But that’s going to be weeks!” Carlos groaned, flopping down further into the pillows and TK laughed, moving his hands to cup Carlos’ face and brought their foreheads together lightly. He felt his heart skip a beat at the pure affection in Carlos’ gaze, which was surly mirrored in his own. </p><p>“I’ve waited my whole life for you, Carlos. I think I can handle a few more weeks.” TK whispered softly and watched as Carlos’ lips stretched into a wide grin, laughing when light kisses were pressed to every inch of his face. </p><p>All except…</p><p>“I can’t wait to finally kiss you properly, <em>Tyler Kennedy.</em>” Carlos murmured, and TK smiled, his cheeks turning pink at how wonderful his name sounded coming from the man’s lips. </p><p>“Me too.” </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>TK didn’t know if the universe was trying to tell them something, or if it was just that their luck was so terrible that the universe was at a loss as to what to do. </p><p>Time really, didn’t seem to be on their side. </p><p><em>“Step any closer and I’ll shoot!”</em> </p><p> </p><p>It had been a little over two weeks since the whole shooting debacle, Carlos having been released a week prior and was just resting at home for the next couple of days. Of course, TK refused to do anything but taking care of the man until he was fully healed much to Carlos’ dismay. </p><p>“I’ve been trying to kiss you for the past six months!” Carlos scowled in frustration when TK ducked out of the way of his hands, grinning cheekily. The frustrated scowl just turned into a petulant huff, and TK stifled a laugh at how adorable Carlos was acting. </p><p>He really had fallen head over heels for the man currently glaring at him from the couch. </p><p>“Six months? You looked like you wanted to murder me in at <em>least</em> the first three.” TK teased, and Carlos rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, well, you weren’t exactly making it easy for me to make a move, and it’s against the law to commit murder – I wouldn’t want to lose my job.” Carlos smirked, and TK raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. </p><p>“So you <em>were</em> thinking about the best way to throw me six feet under. Should I feel scared knowing what you would do if you wouldn’t lose your job?” TK asked drily, and Carlos chuckled. </p><p>“I’ll be honest. You were really being a little shit when we first met, but I could tell you were a good person underneath all the…feisty, patronizing comments.” Carlos smiled softly, and TK felt his fingers twitch at the adoring way Carlos was looking at him right now. </p><p>He really hit a homerun with this one, huh? </p><p>TK was feeling giddy with how much he felt for Carlos, his body feeling like it had just tasted the best summer breeze, but he wasn’t so out of it that he didn’t notice him leaning in closer. TK stood up from his position beside the couch and once again dodged Carlos’ attempts at pulling him close. </p><p>“Oh, come on, at this rate I won’t get to kiss you until we’re old and grey and back to being cranky at each other.” Carlos groaned, and TK couldn’t help an amused snort. </p><p>“Which gives you all the more reason to recover quickly so you’ll be able to kiss me sooner.” TK smiled innocently, his heart leaping to his throat at the way Carlos’ eyes seemed to be undressing him with the coffee table standing in-between them. </p><p>His own self-restraint was walking on a <em>fine line</em> right now. </p><p>“Stop looking at me like that.” TK lowered his gaze, biting his lower lip in a fruitless effort to control how much he wanted to just…give in to the electrifying tension between them since that day at the playground. Carlos’ eyes were a menace, because not only had he not stopped looking at TK like <em>that,</em> his eyes seemed to gain even <em>more</em> heat as TK stood up with the glass of water he now had in his hands. </p><p>“I’m not sure I know how <em>not</em> to look at you.” Carlos said roughly, and TK felt goosebumps lining the back of his neck at how <em>wrecked</em> he sounded. Holding out the glass of water, TK closed his eyes briefly when Carlos’ hands reached to cover his own, the warmth from just that brief contact had his entire body lighting on fire.</p><p>“When are you cleared for duty?” TK asked, and Carlos sighed, taking a sip of the water before TK took it again and placed it back on the coffee table. </p><p>“In five days. Chief wanted to make sure I was completely rested before I go back.” Carlos said, and TK smiled, appreciative. </p><p>“How about a date then? To celebrate the first day you’re cleared for duty?” TK asked, and Carlos grinned. </p><p>“I get off at eight.” TK mentally skipped to the day five days from now and realized his schedule was perfect. </p><p>“I actually have that day off.” TK felt his own smile lighting up his face, and Carlos beamed. </p><p>
  <em>“It’s a date.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>TK woke up that morning with his heart bursting out of his chest. The sun was shining, and he had a <em>date.</em> It was a long time coming, but TK wouldn’t change their timeline for the world. </p><p>He could do without the barrel of the gun pressing against his head though. </p><p>He had wanted to surprise Carlos a little before his shift ended. And okay, he also wanted to see him because he missed him and wanted to see his face again even though they would be seeing each other soon enough had he waited the extra twenty minutes. </p><p>He really, maybe, should have just waited those twenty minutes. </p><p>For the past thirty minutes, an ex-convict had escaped police custody and was currently running loose on the streets with officers running themselves ragged trying to locate him. He had procured a gun from honestly who knows where, and a high risk from his bipolar disorder reaching a phase where he truly wasn’t himself anymore. </p><p>And it just so happened that, out of all the intersections in the entire city of Austin, TK wandered right into the line of fire. Before he could even realize what was happening, an arm was wrapped around his neck in a choke hold, and when he pushed past the panic to try and break free, he froze as something very gun-like pressed to his temple.</p><p>“Move and I shoot your brains out.” The guy growled in his ear, and TK knew better than to provoke him in the current position he was in right now. </p><p>Never provoke a suspect with a gun. </p><p>Especially when they could easily press the trigger and spray your brain matter in a matter of seconds. </p><p>So TK stilled instantly, could hear the sirens getting louder as the guy backed them against a white van so that TK was shielding him from any shot the police could have taken. </p><p>
  <em>Not good.</em>
</p><p>There were officers surrounding them now. TK could barely make out what they were shouting into their radios, only seeing the bright flashes of lights and multiple guns raised in their direction. He couldn’t help but scan the crowd, trying to see any faces he recognized and <em>oh.</em></p><p>Carlos barely had five minutes left in his shift. He barely had five minutes left but he was <em>here,</em> and TK didn’t think he would ever forget the overwhelming <em>fear</em> pooling in his eyes when their gazes met, nor the slight shake of his hands as he stood next to the officers mirroring their position as they pointed their guns at them. TK felt the barrel of the gun pressing even tighter to his temple, making him wince slightly, and noticed Carlos clenching the gun in his hands tighter. </p><p>“Release the civilian.” A female voice sounded through a megaphone, but TK could feel the guy behind him shaking his head violently. </p><p>“<em>No,</em> I need a car, and you’re going to get me one. He’s going nowhere.” The guy shouted, tightening his hold around TK’s neck, and TK really wished he could breathe.  </p><p>“We’re working on that right now, okay? But we don’t want you to hurt anyone else Deckland.” The female negotiator said calmly, but firmly, and the guy, Deckland, shook his head. TK could feel him slightly shaking behind him, as if he was on the verge of a breakdown. </p><p>“I’ve got no one left to hurt, they all left, left me behind! I need that car!!” Deckland yelled, and TK froze when he heard what sounded like the trigger being half-pulled. Somehow, the recurring thought that ran through his mind was-</p><p>
  <em>They were going to miss their reservation.</em>
</p><p>“Deckland! I need you to put the gun <em>down.</em> I can get you that car, but you do not need to harm another person to get it!” The negotiator said quickly, as if noticing Deckland’s demeanor starting to slip, and TK’s gaze met Carlos’ once again. TK couldn’t help a small wave of warmth filling up his chest at how scared and angry he looked, the dark shadow in his eyes locked onto them, unwavering. </p><p>That look screamed officer Carlos Reyes, who was doing his job as an officer of the law but also having the emotions of a human being. TK wasn’t sure he ever wanted to be in Carlos’ shoes in this moment, because he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to compose himself as well as Carlos was doing right now. </p><p>“Don’t tell me what I need or don’t need!” </p><p>It was a split second. </p><p>A split second, where Deckland’s gun moved away from his temple to wave at the police officers in front of him. </p><p>And that split second was all that it took. </p><p>A gunshot ran out through the tense scene, and TK vaguely felt the hold on him loosen, of wet droplets of something splatter slightly on his face, and a thump on the ground along with the clatter of a gun. TK could still hear his heartbeat pounding loudly in his chest, so he wasn’t the one that was hit. That meant-</p><p>Shouts sounded soon after that, and officers were running towards him. TK jumped when hands pulled him away from what was most likely the body of Deckland, but the only thing on his mind right now was-</p><p>Then, familiar arms wrapped around him, and TK didn’t hesitate to completely melt against the strong arms wrapping tightly around his waist. Didn’t even protest when he was pulled to a muscular chest he knew all too well, and automatically wrapped his own arms tightly around Carlos’ shoulders. TK buried his face into Carlos’ uniform, feeling tears of relief slipping down his cheeks. His senses were completely filled with <em>Carlos,</em> and he didn’t even realize he was repeatedly saying his name through his shirt. </p><p>“Carlos-” </p><p>
  <em>“Tyler”</em>
</p><p>TK didn’t know how long they had stood there in each others arms, but he still clung on tightly when he felt Carlos starting to slowly pull away. </p><p>“TK, you need to get checked over by the paramedics.” Carlos whispered, but TK didn’t loosen his grip he had on the man. He could still feel the barrel of the gun against his temple, the arm tightening around his neck, the body of a man behind him that wasn’t Carlos and he just-</p><p><em>“I was so scared.”</em> TK could feel himself starting to shake again, and felt Carlos tighten his hold on him, an arm moving to stroke his back rhythmically in comfort. </p><p>“You’re safe, do you hear me? He can’t hurt you anymore.“ Carlos murmured softly, and TK clenched his hands tighter around Carlos’ uniform. </p><p>“Who…” TK trailed off, not quite knowing how to ask this question, but Carlos seemed to understand him anyway. </p><p>“Sniper. He had clear visual, but didn’t want to risk the gun the perp was holding on you to accidentally go off. So, he waited for the right moment.” Carlos said quietly, and TK nodded, slowly pulling back from the embrace. He was beyond grateful Carlos had somehow managed to move them behind a cruiser, blocking them from the view of the other responders on the scene. He saw Michelle glancing over and catching his gaze, and TK sighed. </p><p>“Do I really need to get checked over? It’s not like I’m hurt or anything.” TK frowned, and Carlos nodded. </p><p>“Routine check-up. Plus, you’ll make me feel a little better if you do.” Carlos added, and TK needed no further prompting. Carlos was by his side the whole time Michelle checked him over, standing in front of him as TK sat on the ledge on the back of the ambulance. Michelle’s expression was gentle when she finished her check-up, and told him he would be fine, just still a little in shock. </p><p>“I called Captain Strand, but he already saw it on the news. He’s over there with the others.” Michelle pointed to the side, and TK saw the familiar red firetruck and people standing around it, his father probably having them stand back until he was ready to walk over to them himself – which he was beyond grateful for. Michelle left the two alone to talk to her team of paramedics, and TK moved forward to lean his forehead against Carlos’ chest. </p><p>“We can’t ever seem to catch a break, huh?” TK joked weakly, and Carlos only hugged him tighter, pulling him even closer. “Do you think the universe is maybe trying to tell us something?” TK mumbled dejectedly, running a hand along Carlos’ arm. </p><p>“The universe could start throwing meteorites in my path every time I so much as step in your direction and I would <em>still</em> walk towards you.” </p><p>TK blinked, caught off guard by how serious Carlos sounded at the ridiculous hypothetical scenario, before a genuine smile stretched across his face. </p><p>“You’re <em>ridiculous.</em>” </p><p>“Only for you Tyler Kennedy, <em>only for you.</em>” </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>TK couldn’t stand it anymore. </p><p>Seated on the couch in their lounge area, he watched as Carlos and Paul bickered over recipes, the latter trying to convince Carlos that if pineapples could belong on pizza then maybe mangoes did too, and Carlos was having none of it. TK could barely pay attention to the conversation; how could he, when he could divide his full attention to Carlos’ lips as they moved, licking his own as he imagined what they would feel like. </p><p>“Wow, tone down the thirst there, TK.” </p><p>TK barely gave Marjan a glance as she sat down beside him on the couch, instead smiling softly as he watched Carlos laugh at something Paul said, shooting back a comeback of his own before dodging quickly as Paul threw a towel at him. </p><p>“I <em>am</em> quite thirsty right now.” TK mused, and Marjan threw him an unimpressed look, though the slight upwards tick of her lips threw away all her chances to seem anything but amused. </p><p>“I’m honestly impressed that you two managed to control yourselves for this long. We were beginning to think you two would just crack one day and start making out right in the middle of your hilarious arguments – sorry, <em>flirty</em> banter.” Marjan laughed, and TK shrugged, his lips seeming to be set in a permanent smile since Carlos had wandered into the station a couple of minutes ago, offering to cook again for them on his day off. Two weeks had passed since the whole Deckland thing, and TK was so sure the universe had it out for them because somehow in the entirety of the two weeks, their shifts never complimented the other and they somehow survived those two weeks on just texting and calls alone. So, when Carlos had walked into the station when TK was still on shift today, he had almost thrown himself at the cop and kissed him right then and there beside the trucks. </p><p>“You’re not the only one. I swear if I don’t kiss him today, I might explode from sexual frustration.” TK muttered, glaring at nothing in particular and Marjan snickered, highly entertained by how ruffled he sounded. </p><p>“Well, what exactly are you waiting for?” Marjan nudged him purposefully, and TK blinked. </p><p>She was right. </p><p>What <em>was</em> he waiting for?  </p><p>Carlos was standing barely 10 feet away from him, smiling that brilliant smile of his with eyes practically sparkling as he reached for a cupboard and lips just waiting to be kissed.</p><p>And TK was sitting on the couch just <em>watching.</em> </p><p>Fucking hell he was an idiot. </p><p>TK didn’t wait another second before pushing himself off of the couch, ignoring Marjan’s cheers and marching himself towards the kitchen area with a purpose. He saw Paul looking up as he approached and smirked, eyes knowing as he quietly moved out of his path. Carlos had barely looked up from whatever he was doing with the ingredients on the counter when TK grabbed his shoulder, hauling him towards him and finally, <em>finally,</em> placed their lips together. </p><p>TK couldn’t help a slight puff of laughter when Carlos made a high-pitched noise in surprise, moving his lips gently against Carlos’ as he waited for him to get with the program. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before TK felt hands gripping his waist, tugging him closer. So much so that there could barely be an inch between their bodies as Carlos responded, and TK felt his head tilt backwards slightly, gasping softly while Carlos wasted no time in practically <em>devouring</em> him with his tongue. Their tongues teased and yet still fought for dominance as with any of their flirty squabbles, but TK was just so happy he was kissing the man he had wanted so badly for the past seven months that he let Carlos take the reins this time. His hands clutched at Carlos’ broad shoulders desperately, the two barely breaking apart to breathe before their lips were meeting again, and TK had never felt so blissfully dizzy. </p><p>“Think they still remember we’re still here?” </p><p>TK groaned internally before slowly – <em>reluctantly,</em> pulled back from Carlos, though still opted to stay in his arms. He met the man’s gaze and flushed at the unadulterated desire resonating in those eyes TK had fallen for so many times in the past seven months and lifted a hand to caress Carlos’ cheek softly with his thumb before turning to glare at their audience. </p><p>“Don’t you all have anything better to do?” TK scowled, narrowing his eyes at their snickers. Even Owen was chuckling, his expression thoroughly amused, and overtly proud. </p><p>“You would look far more intimidating if your hair wasn’t a mess and your face being redder than the strawberries that Carlos had been so focussed on washing before you rudely interrupted him.” Paul grinned, laughing when TK huffed in exasperation, ignoring how he was probably turning even more red at the attention they were getting. </p><p>“All I have to say is <em>about damn time.</em>” Judd was standing with his arms crossed across his chest, his face practically <em>glowing</em> with pride. TK wondered if he should just sink down behind the counter and will their presence away or plan each and every single one of their murders with the actual intention of carrying it through. Instead of either of that, he just buried his face in the nearest surface, which was Carlos’ chest in this case. He felt the slight shake of Carlos’ body, and TK tilted his head up to glare at the man he just made-out with in the middle of the station’s kitchen in front of the whole crew. </p><p>“Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” TK scowled, moving to pull himself free from Carlos’ hold but he should have never underestimated the cop’s strength. He vaguely noticed that they were alone now, the crew probably deciding that they should give them a little privacy, which, rude, because it would have been thoroughly appreciated had they given them their privacy a few minutes ago. </p><p>“It’s just…you’re really easy to tease.” Carlos grinned, and TK scoffed at the audacity. </p><p>“Excuse you? I just resorted myself to a lifetime of teasing for you and you’re just going to rub that fact in my face?” TK pouted, a pout that quickly turned into a smile when Carlos leaned in to gently kiss him. </p><p>Carlos was making it <em>really</em> difficult to pretend to be mad at him right now. </p><p>“To be fair, if you didn’t do it, I definitely would have found an opportunity to shove you against the nearest wall and do it myself. Turns out you just beat me to it.” Carlos murmured, his eyes flickering down to TK’s lips once again, and TK grinned. </p><p>“You know, we could still-“ </p><p>TK didn’t get to finish his thought as his lips got preoccupied again. He felt the edge of the counter digging into his back as Carlos pinned him up against it, pushing him back so that he was practically laying down across the hard surface. TK let out a strangled moan as Carlos nipped down his jaw, shivering in pleasure when he felt Carlos’ growing problem pressed up against his thigh. Not that his was any better, and TK truly forgot that they were at his workplace because he was <em>one second away</em> from undressing the man whose lips were attached to his throat when-</p><p>“That counter better be disinfected when I walk in there!” </p><p>And okay, it seemed like TK <em>would</em> be planning a murder. </p><p>Maybe even four.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>~ Five Years Later ~</em>
  </p>
</div>The call was one of the easier ones they’ve had in a while. Not to say that a four-car pile-up was anything easy to handle, but somehow everyone involved escaped this one with relatively minor injuries and all fire and rescue had to do was extraction and treatment. It was a fairly quick process, and before he knew it, TK was putting the equipment away with the rest of the team.<p>“Will you be able to make it to dinner tonight?” </p><p>TK felt the familiar way his heart seemed to stutter in his chest at the voice he’s grown accustomed to for the past five years. Warmth filled him at the way his lips automatically stretched into a smile because it was the only thing they seemed to know how to do in the presence of this person. </p><p>“Hard to say.” TK hummed, closing the compartment with the equipment he had been holding before, turning around to face the man leaning against the truck behind him, grinning when he raised an eyebrow at his answer. </p><p>“You see <em>detective,</em> I have a very important dinner reservation with my <em>husband</em> to celebrate our fifth-year anniversary. I can call him though, maybe he’ll let you join us. Or maybe I can cancel? I could always make it up to him some other time.” TK grinned when Carlos snorted, rolling his eyes in fond exasperation. TK didn’t move an inch as Carlos pushed off the truck he was leaning against to close the distance between them – not that he ever wanted to – and reached out to grasp his uniform just below the ribcage to pull him in closer. In response, Carlos placed a sturdy hand on the truck behind him, the other hand moving to his designated spot on TK’s lower back as he caged in the firefighter between his arms.  </p><p>“Your <em>husband</em> would like to keep you all to himself, thank you very much. He will always reinforce the idea of sharing is caring to the daughter, but regarding the love of his life, sharing will always be the last thing on his mind.” Carlos murmured, and TK reveled how his entire body would always light up in Carlos’ mere presence even after two years of dating and three years of being married. </p><p>“Is that so? Well then you’ll be happy to hear that your husband feels the same way, and that he will absolutely be at the reservation tonight.” TK whispered, smiling when Carlos leaned their foreheads together, their noses brushing against each other affectionately. </p><p>“How has your day been?” Carlos leaned in to kiss his cheek briefly, and TK sighed. </p><p>“There was this one call where someone accidentally forgot they left the kettle on the stove before leaving for vacation, then another guy who gave me major déjà vu when he got himself stuck in the slide when someone dared him that he wouldn’t be able to fit. He <em>really</em> didn’t fit. Complained a whole lot too.” TK groaned, and Carlos chuckled.</p><p>“Speaking of slides, Rosella was asking if we could get one for the living room. She said, and I quote, ‘that way when daddy and papi come home from work, I can run faster to the door by sliding first.’” TK couldn’t help a bright laugh at that, leaning back slightly to peer at his husband. </p><p>“Certainly your daughter alright, opinionated without fault.” TK teased, and Carlos raised an eyebrow in challenge. </p><p>“Oh? Kiss me if I’m wrong <em>Tyler,</em> but who is always the one bending over backwards in this relationship? And I mean that purely in the most innocent sense.” Carlos grinned, and TK shoved him, not that it did any better than the first time he tried that while straddled to the man’s lap – his muscles were still something to be appreciated. </p><p>TK will preferably do exactly that later, but maybe in their bed where they couldn’t be seen by the general public.  </p><p>“Ass.” TK laughed, then realizing that he didn’t like Carlos more than an arm’s reach away, so he pulled him back towards him and wrapped his arms around him just above the belt around Carlos’ waist that was carrying his gun. </p><p>“You love me.” Carlos reached up to brush some stray strands of hair away from TK’s forehead, and TK smiled when he felt the ring on Carlos’ left ring finger graze his temple softly. </p><p>“Now that, is something I can’t argue with.” TK grinned, leaning forward to capture Carlos’ lips gently, not deepening the kiss like he would if they were alone in their own home because they were still technically at work. He pulled back to see Carlos smiling at him tenderly, the look in his eyes losing none of the affection they’ve held for the past five years and counting. TK thought back to the very first day they met – the initial rough start they both had, and every rough patch and happy occurrences they’ve been through together since then to lead to the life they had now. </p><p>“I love you.” TK murmured softly, smiling when he heard the three words echoed back without hesitation. </p><p> </p><p>Five years ago, TK and Carlos’ gazes had met for the first time. </p><p>Five years later, their gazes were still meeting like they had since that very first time. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And like that first time, neither could bear to look away.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had planned on dragging out the whole 'TK maintaining his distance' but smh, these two make it so hard to have them stay away from each other for long. </p><p>Come yell at me on <a href="https://ao3theskyisblue.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/ao3theskyisblue">Twitter</a> and we can rant about anything and everything 😉</p></blockquote></div></div>
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